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Since returning home I’ve encountered a continual flow of family, friends, and other people in passing who know about or have just come to learn that I’ve recently returned from Haiti this past week and they immediately ask, “So what was it like?” And my mouth opens to speak but no words come out… There are no words quickly available to summarize and put into perspective our trip in a single sentence or even in a few short sentences. Words that do eventually come to mind? Well….. how about sad… heartbreaking… frustrating .. Sad and heartbreaking to spend time in the midst of and witness 3rd world poverty first hand, and frustrating to see this kind of suffering knowing it doesn’t necessarily have to be that way…
Our group, Hearts Together For Haiti for the most part worked at a clinic in Jacmal. One of the frustrations was that the doctors and nurses were working under third world conditions.. namely, a lack of medicine and a lack of medical equipment, even basic medical equipment used to save lives, little means to sterilize and to keep the surrounding environment clean and germ free, toppled with a sense of continual chaos and disorganization, though everyone involved tried their best to cut through the confusion and maintain a sense of order around them. To quote nurse Jenny upon arriving at the clinic, "It seems as though everything we learned in med school just went out the window!"
But also, the word touching quickly comes to mind… Touching, in the sense that we’ve met so many really beautiful yet again, suffering souls whose hearts even in the midst of all their personal suffering, a suffering you and I could probably never take on or handle well ourselves radiate what I personally believe is the true essence of God’s love… Haitians for the most part are extremely warm hearted and kind people.. and they are extremely grateful for the help they are continually receiving..
Still, they need so much more help, and most importantly, they need not be forgotten eventually once things begin to settle down and the media attention begins to dwindle away. Rebuilding and aiding poverty stricken Haiti in their dire need will take years to achieve. Earthquake or no earthquake, they are a nation in great peril… But to the Haitian, the help we give them does not go un-noticed.. They are an extremely grateful people full of smiles, especially in gratitude of the help they are receiving. I went down there to help and yet in so many ways I left feeling as though I was more on the receiving end then on the giving end.. but what I received money can’t simply buy.
This earthquake, an extremely un-anticipated earthquake mind you, would catch Haiti by total surprise drastically changing the lives of almost every Haitian. Haitians were now threatened with losing the very little they even possessed to begin with. Earthquake or no earthquake, Haiti is an extremely poor country, one of the poorest in the world and undoubtedly the poorest of all the Caribbean and Central American nations. As well, Haitians have had to deal with decades and decades of corrupt government that have made it extremely difficult for even the hardest of hard working Haitians to be able to make ends meet on a day to day basis. The biggest complaint I heard from any Haitian was that even as money pours into their country, if it is money that reaches the hands of the government the Haitians themselves almost never see it.. Actually, that is about the only complaint I ever heard from the locals.. But it was a complaint shared by many.
I’ve heard it said by many since Jan 12th that Haiti will undoubtedly benefit greater in the end as a result of this recent earthquake. That, as a result of this earthquake, Haiti now has the worlds attention and will get the help it’s needed all along. Well, on one hand, there may be some truth to this statement in that more organizations, more nations, and more people are indeed coming forwards in wanting to help, yet, I’m not totally convinced this statement is 100% correct. Only if the help is to continue in the long term will this statement prove to be true. Even the largest and most established of humanitarian aid groups, I’m talking the big ones like Red Cross, World Vision, and Doctors Without Borders just to name a few are becoming more and more strained as more and more catastrophes occur more frequently around the world. So, for nations like Haiti to not be forgotten over time means more and more volunteers and humanitarian aid workers coming forwards to help whether it be with large organizations like the above mentioned or with one of the numerous smaller ones similar to Hearts Together For Haiti.
How It Began For Me
My journey to Haiti itself pretty much began on January 12th though confirmation that I would be travelling there of course would not come until days later. I had been sitting at my computer doing some work late in the afternoon and had taken a moment to browse Spirit Daily, my favored online Catholic news source, when I noticed a news link that read, “Strong Earthquake in Haiti”. As I clicked on the link, a link to the first CNN reports coming in, I had this uncanny immediate inner sense that my own life in some peculiar way was about to change, though in that moment I really had no clue as to why I would even think this. I had seen this kind of breaking news report come in many times before, as we all have, and never once thought how such news could or would ever personally affect me.. Yet, the sense was strong that this breaking news somehow would.. It was the first tap on my shoulder God would make.
The initial report on CNN actually first read, “no casualties reported at this time.” yet I also knew that this was going to change in the moments to come simply because it only made sense that it would. I’m not a pessimist and I certainly believe in and hope for miracles, but the reality was Haiti had just had a 7.3 earthquake not even 10 miles from it’s capital city Port Au Prince. To have absolutely no casualties would have been the ultimate miracle of miracles far greater in magnitude than last years Hudson River plane crash where everyone miraculously survived… Yet the grim reality that we would soon come to learn over the next few days and weeks that nearly a quarter million people had died in Haiti was completely unfathomable.
Over the next 48 to 72 hours my prayer life would escalate and my prayers would become more fervent and focused almost solely on what was happening in Haiti the more I saw the images flash across the television and computer screens as news updates from various sources continued to pour in. Anyone with any sense of compassion at all were finding themselves continually choking up with tears at the sounds of mothers crying for their missing children and children crying for their mothers.
On Friday, January 15th, only 3 days after the earthquake I received my second tap on the shoulder by God. This time His attempts to get my attention were very clear and undeniable. Though I can not say God actually spoke to me directly in an audible way like a locution or vision, it was very clear to me that He had just placed on my heart in the most powerful of ways a sudden extremely strong desire, almost an urgent inner need, to go to Haiti and help..
I had been reading online an article from the Windsor Star about Frank Chauvins orphanage and how he lost 3 girls and a worker in that orphanage… and reading this article tore at my heart as it did for many in our community. Like many Windsorites, I knew who Frank Chauvin was. In fact, years earlier, Elizabeth and I had him over for dinner one night and he spoke to us about his ongoing efforts in Haiti. Now to learn that he lost 4 simply broke my heart. As well, our community was waiting in anticipation about the whereabouts of one of our priests Fr. Giroux who had been missing since January 12th. So for Windsor, the Haiti devastation was really hitting home.
As I read the article, the desire to go and help was rapidly intensifying. Still, it wasn’t making a whole lotta sense. I’m not a doctor or a nurse. I’m a construction worker I thought as I read, “The Windsor-based aid group Hearts Together for Haiti is also in the initial stages of planning a trip to Port-au-Prince within the next several weeks to offer assistance. Chairman Steve McDougall said about a half dozen volunteers, which he hopes will include trained medical professionals, could travel at the end of February.” The initial need seemed to be medical. Yet it still seemed to be on my heart to want to go and help. Yet me? I barely have work right now and can barely make ends meet myself. I’m behind on my bills. I have no money saved. I have commitments here at home with Don Bosco Home… and with my own children who need me here. “Nope… It seemed God was saying. I want you to go to Haiti. You can certainly help.” And suddenly, all the excuses I was quick to come up with seemed easily workable to make it possible to go. The next paragraph jumped out at me full force, “McDougall said volunteers could help out with medical treatment and making repairs at Chauvin’s orphanage or offering help at Giroux’s Haiti Mission in the neighborhood of St. Michel.” And there was confirmation. This organization may actually be able to use me.
There were of course initial obstacles. I needed to know that Greg would be okay with it here at Don Bosco Home if I left for a while. I needed to know that Elizabeth and my children would be okay with it. I needed to know that my spiritual director would be okay with it. The last time I had approached him with a similar urge to go help was in 2005 when I wanted to go to New Orleans and help in the initial days after hurricane Katrina. He simply said, “No, not unless you go with an organized group.” But at the time I could not find such a group to tag along with unless I had medical experience. This time the urge was that much stronger. But I needed to know that I could be of use in Haiti by some organization, and especially, not a hindrance. The last thing Haiti needed was another hungry mouth to feed. Even if Greg, Elizabeth, the children and my spiritual director were okay with it, I would still need to find out if I could be used by someone down there.
I had such a strong urge after reading that Windsor Star article that despite these obstacles I wanted to phone to offer help immediately. Still, I knew what was right and so I first went and approached Greg about it in his office. He sat and listened to me and when I was finished explained that when he ran the first Don Bosco Home twenty years earlier, after about a years time he felt this need to get away from it all, like a strong sense to escape. I said, “Greg, it’s not like that. I have no desire to ‘escape’ Don Bosco Home. This is my home and as of right now it’s my life.” I explained. ” And believe me, if I didn’t want to be here I simply wouldn’t.” Greg respected that about me and understood. ”I think it’s noble of you. Pray about it over the weekend and see how you feel in a few days.” I took his advice..
Next, I phoned and left a message with my spiritual director Fr. Beaune. Father listened to me as I shared this strong desire to go to Haiti and to my surprise said, “John,. That’s very noble of you and if you can do it, and if Greg and your family are okay with it I think you should do it.” Two of the four obstacles fell into place immediately. Only two more to go. I phoned and spoke about it with Elizabeth who immediately expressed that she was okay with it providing it would not be for an extended period of time, as in months. Over the weekend I stopped by and Elizabeth and I first sat down with Elise and explained the possibility. Elise was excited… And Nathaniel? Well, at age fifteen he floored me with his immediate comment when eyes wide he said, ”Well papa, if you die while you are there you’ll go straight to heaven because you’re helping people.” I slightly smiled at his innocence of heart but assured him, ”Nathaniel, let’s not go there. Papa’s going to be alright… and he’s going to come home.” and hugging me he simply said, “I know.”
Now that everyone in my immediate life at home seemed okay with it, and by this time those close to me here on Thy Daily Bread Forum were also showing great support it was now time to contact someone and offer help. I first phoned Frank Chauvin at home and left a message. I later learned from Frank himself that he did get the message but it was one of so many as he was flooded with calls around the same time and was overwhelmed with trying to gain word of the situation in Haiti concerning his orphanages that he never did get the time to phone me back. However, in the meantime, I had also phoned and left a message with Steve McDougall, Coordinator of Hearts Together For Haiti and a member of the board of Directors, and had emailed him with information about myself as well. I was able to reach Steve over the weekend which opened the door and began preparations for an upcoming trip to Haiti. The possibility was slowly becoming a reality.
